Blog #8 Letting go, how do you do it?
In our MasterClasses we are talking about letting go. “What is the best way to let go?” Is a question asked by many of our participants. We use a metaphor for this in the training. Your hand has something in it that you can let go by opening your hand with your palm down, so actually by dropping it down. Or, you do it with your hand open with your palm facing up. In this way you let go in a supporting way.
But, that is easier said than done and I can speak from my own experience. For a number of years Peter and I knew that we wanted to live and work in Botswana. I was always the one who is postponing of the two of us, because … I have set up a foundation, StartUp4kids, and that is my “baby” that makes me happy and where I spend most of my time on. Oh yes, and then I have set up another foundation, Experience4Life, in which I organize empowerment programs for refugee women and for children. In the meantime I have built up a warm friendship with many of these women and should I then abandon them while I want them to feel happy in the Netherlands? And what about the StartUp4kids projects? How am I going to do all of that? Panic everywhere while Botswana keeps calling me: “Katja please come”. In the meantime, that call is becoming so strong that we have set ourselves the goal of realizing it; on December 31, 2018 we will live and work in Botswana. Everywhere in my body it says and feels that this is right and that I should be in Botswana and not in the Netherlands. It was by setting our goal that I was finally able to let go and to leave the Netherlands to finally be at home. And, the funny thing is that I am still involved in the foundations but a bit more from a distance but also closely because I am setting up the same sort of projects in Botswana and because as there is such a thing as WhatsApp calling and contact via Skype keeping in contact remains possible. So still supportive way of letting go and not just trowing it on the ground.
Before I started writing this blog, I thought of a good tip I could give about letting go. Because actually it is not that difficult but we think of all sorts of scenarios why we should not do something or what can go wrong. It is especially happing in our minds because imagine that I end my relationship, will I ever find a new relationship? Or imagine if I quit my job then I will not have enough money…
You can also think in a different way because you are the one who is in control! It may just be that you might find your soul mate or maybe you will be starting to earn much more money.
Our negative thoughts are of no use to us and is a mechanism that we needed in primeval times. And both you and I know that primeval times are a long long time ago. On the other hand, it is good to ask yourself a few questions: Is it true what I think? On what do I actually base those thoughts? Do I have an influence on this situation that I do not want? If the answer is no, you can let it go because then you can’t do anything with it … after all, it’s not in your hands. But if the answer is yes, then take action! It is up to you and you are the only one who can do something about it.
Also consider letting go in your relationships. In work or private that does not matter much. Do you dare to trust your relationships and let them do it themselves and let them make their mistakes while you are standing next to them to give the support that is needed? So you can really let go without leaving others to their own and the result is an employee, partner, friend who feels responsible, free and happy.
Because the great thing about letting go is that it gives you freedom; freedom to think of new strategies, to be doing with the things you want to do, to meet new people, to discover new things or just to sit back reading a nice book. So to actually do what makes you happy. How great is that? Peter and I have been able to create that life and I enjoy it every day.
Do you want to learn more about this? Then come to our MasterClass on 17 or 18 September. Because you too want to experience freedom, right?